I have been working with this design for the last few weeks.
I think it comes from a craving to find my own center, my single point of focus.
And when we are fully aware of what our focus is, the ripples that move out concentrically from our point of power affect the world around us.
Hopefully, our point of power works in a positive way-- if our focus is clear, precise and set with an intention that the power we are beckoning for ourselves will also benefit those around us, not at the expense of those around us, meaningful experiences become an everyday thing.
But what happens when your focus is filled with fear-based thoughts?
The focus of my life right now is building my business home, as well as my personal home. The last few months it has been all about my business, and less about my personal home.
But when I do think about finding a home, I get angry by the prices and the condition of the homes in our price range, and daydream that we will have to settle for a piece-of-shit house because we don't want to leverage ourselves to the point of living in a scary place all of the time with the fears associated with too much debt.
And this fear about my home is leaking into my focus on my business. I wake up nervous that I am not doing enough, not making enough, not talented enough to make this work. And this perpetuates the vibe that I am not enough and down the drain I go.
I'm out of balance, and my body gave me a sharp warning about it this morning around 2:30 am.
I had heartburn, and it was pretty severe.
Ulcers, heartburn and the like are often our body's way of saying...
"Hey, get your priorities straight, and stop worrying about getting ahead! Drop the fear that you won't make it, that you will fail and start using your imagination in a productive way to experience what you desire, not what you don't."
After drinking about a quart of milk and taking an acid pill, I pulled out my body/mind books from my bookcase and had some quiet time to contemplate what the hell it is that I am doing to my body via my thoughts.
I've been making jewelry now for about 10 years. I know that when my subconscious mind is grappling with something that it shows up in my work first before it hits my body, especially if it's something that has to change for me to progress to my own next step.
Last week, I was also preoccupied with feet...so much so that I felt the need to make a pair of earrings with faceted blue lapis hanging from the toes.
Lapis is considered a truth stone. It calls those that need to discover/uncover their deep personal truths. I specifically wanted my feet earrings to be made with copper, a very earthy metal. Grounding. Feet firmly planted in the ground...with toes that wriggle. That was the feeling that I wanted to have while standing at my table to make these.
I think, based on my acid-induced communion last night with myself, that my sub-conscious/higher power was working with me in the studio to show me the parts of myself that need attention. That need love and acceptance and priority.
Art does heal. It allows for a pathway of communication to open up between your Personality-self and your Spirit-self. I suppose some people can hear a direct communication from their Spirit-self; but I have found that I communicate with my Spirit-self best via something tangible that comes through my hands from my heart-space.
If you are a photographer, what are you drawn to capturing right now? If you sew, what article of clothing is compelling you to make it? As a painter, what subjects are throwing themselves at you? A writer? What is pissing you off so much that you have to get it out or what fills you with so much love that you are about to burst?
I feel like I've turned a personal corner here as it relates to both homes that I want to inhabit fully. Just when I think I am getting the hang of the connection between our thoughts and reality-making, something like this shows up.
And I suppose it will keep on showing up as long as I need to understand creating from all points of view as I continue along my own path towards self-realization. Feet....point of focus...it all relates. Every time.