Connection is Medicine

I think addictions may start when connections end.

In Human Design, my profile is that of an Opportunist/Role Model (4/6). All of my opportunities in life come from the connections I've made.

It's hard for me to end friendships, even when I should. Once I've connected to someone, its generally for life.

Now, I may not see or hear from someone that I've made a connection with for years, but when we do connect, it's as if all that time apart was just a momentary blip.

I've often wondered why drugs have never been something that I've pursued. I grew up in the 80's and alcohol, smoking, cocaine, pot, and ecstasy were the main varieties I would bump into with friends and 'going out'.

I never smoked. Didn't feel the need of nicotine to quell any anxiety to fit in with my peers. I did drink alcohol, mostly beer and wine, and there was a stint in Chicago when I drank Jaegermeister, but that ended pretty quickly after an unfortunate contest that involved hot peppers.

But the other drugs? Other than smoking dope a few times, it never appealed to me.

Even when I smoked pot, I didn't really feel high. I felt anxious and paranoid.

I want to acknowledge here that there has never been a point in my life where I've sustained a long-term feeling of not feeling safe, seen, or needed.

I've been very fortunate in this.

These feelings can cause those who experience them long-term to put up walls for protection. But they come at a great cost.

Don't get me wrong, I've got my own issues regarding feeling capable, which I think has something to do with the psoriasis I'm experiencing, but I still feel connected to people, even when they don't consider my point of view!

I think that is more about connecting to myself in such a way that I don't need outside validation. But I'm still figuring that out, as I mentioned in yesterday's post.

But I've always felt connected to others, the spiritual world, and nature, my art, and I think that may be one of the reasons why I don't do drugs on the regular.

After my studies in the Human Design system, I believe we are wired to connect to others.

But the sad thing is, modern life is isolating to a degree I've never experienced before. It has to be so hard for younger generations to navigate connecting to others when they've been conditioned to connect online instead.

A few years ago, I worked part-time in a health food store. Some of the younger kids working there had a hard time making eye contact with the customers. So much so that it made me very uncomfortable. Gently, when the time was right, I worked with a few of them on this. I don't have kids, so this was something I hadn't really noticed before.

My husband and I are connecting to each other again after 5 years of periodic absences apart due to family issues.

How are we doing that? You would think after 30 years, we would have it down, but it needs to be intentional.

Every morning, we sit out on our screened-in porch and drink our coffee together and just talk, while we listen to the birds and watch the wildlife in our backyard.

A few months ago, when he was home, I arranged for a stained glass class that was a few hours and we shared that experience together. Since it was new to both of us we laughed at our newbie mistakes.

Laughing together is an instant connection point.

We go on walks together when we can during the week.

Something interesting about walking side by side is that conversation is much easier than sitting across from each other. The steady cadence and non-confrontational posture really opens up your voicebox, and talking while navigating is chill.

I learned that in a college communications class I took, and from my experience, it's valid. Especially with people who find it hard to talk deeply with others.

Being together in some sort of communal setting is great for connection. Shayne used to go with me to my art shows, and he said he loved seeing me connect to others via my jewelry. He is somewhat of a loner, but enjoys being with me in a crowd.

In turn, I'll go with him to bike get-togethers. I learn something new, meet new people too, and enjoy watching him in his element.

Again, shared experiences foster connection. I learned that the hard way when I was traveling solo before I met Shayne.

I was in Ireland, having a great time, but I wasn't sharing this experience with anyone permanently. I realized that I didn't want to live the rest of my life alone.

I wanted someone else to witness my life and share those experiences with me. It was a sobering moment, while alone in a Bed and Breakfast, and when I returned to the States I started dating to find that one-and-only.

Note: I found the wrong one-and-only, got married for a little less than a year, but hey, I learned what I didn't want in a life partner quite quickly.

Spiritual practices are another route to connection. I think connecting to All That Is in whatever way that feels right is an incredible connection point. I get that sense of connection in my studio when I'm creating jewelry, art or writing.

Shit, that's the reason why I started writing here. To connect with myself, you, and Shayne.

I've started reading my daily blog post out loud to Shayne before we go to bed. It's a nice way to end the day, either with him falling asleep at the sound of my voice, or he thinks on it and we talk about what I wrote the next morning over our coffee.

Connection is as hard as you want to make it, or as easy as doing something different if you don't feel connected to your life.

But I believe that connection, in all of its forms, is Big Medicine.

As for myself, I find myself asking the question of, "Where can I reconnect to others, myself, or God today?" a lot.