Connecting With an Ant

Yesterday, I went for a hike and decided to stop at a bench to take a break. 

I noticed an ant on the bench, and my first instinct was to flick it away.

I can't tell you how much I abhor ants.

But for some reason, I stopped myself. 

I thought to myself:

"What if I were an alien, and was visiting Earth, and I came across a human? 

Maybe I'm a huge alien, like so big that the human can't really see me because of his limited perspective.  

If a human annoyed me, would I just flick it away? Or would I understand they were only tiny in comparison to me, and unable to understand what I was about to do because of their stage of development?”

While sitting there, with this imaginary story running through my mind, I looked at that ant again. 

Instead of indulging in my irrational fear of ants, I tried to send it a simple message: 

I see you. I won't hurt you. Maybe I even love you. 

I got very emotional. 

It wasn't about this little black ant anymore, (actually, he was big for an ant), but I suddenly noticed how many tiny little lives I've affected because I was annoyed at them. How many gnats I've swatted at, bugs I've thumped and so on. 

I looked at the trail through the woods I was just on, and watched for about 10 minutes how many winged insects use it as a speedway. I also watched some deer come up the path...my road was their road, too. 

In that moment, something clicked within me. 

I realized how much of my daily life is based on stupid assumptions and for the most part many of my actions are actually unconscious reactions. 

I rarely stop long enough to actually notice the beings around me that are just trying to live, travel, and survive the day. 

Just like me. 

I started to cry. 

I believe that tears often come when we subconsciously recognize that we are not separate, but connected.

I wonder if this recognition is built into us, maybe to spur us on to realize that God isn't out there, He's right here within, always.  

We are Him, He is us. 

That ant, yesterday, helped me go up a rung in my spiral of understanding things. 

Life isn't a hierarchy based on size, intellect or being bipedal with opposable thumbs. 

We are all of us a part of the same creation. 

And if we can take a minute at a quiet crossroad, and choose recognition instead of dismissal, compassion instead of apathy, maybe we can individually shift the world, just a little. 

I hope my little ant story shifted something inside of you today.

Random fact about me: My favorite flower is the Rose of Sharon. I had a bush in my backyard as a kid, and always thought of it as 'my flower'.

The Spiral of Life: Insights from the Morning Glory

When I’m wrestling with something, God rarely whispers. He speaks through the world around me, and today, it was the Morning Glory.

Whenever I'm grappling with something, God usually uses my environment to grab my attention so that we can have a little sit down.

So, the Morning Glory opens at dawn and closes at dusk...hmm...I'm sensing circadian rhythm is at play here.

The Morning Glory is a spiraling vine. I use the spiral in my work as a jewelry designer all of the time. It's personally meaningful to me, because I've noticed that the rhythm of my life is more of a spiral than a circle.

My creative life goes round and round but with a difference--when I complete one circle, I'm able to reflect upon where I've been with a little more elevation, hence the spiral.

And then I usually repeat the lesson or understanding again, only with a little more perspective as I spiral up or down depending on where I am in my process.

I've had a stressful week, and right now, I'm revisiting some life lessons I thought I'd understood and moved on from.

Turns out I haven't.

I've also gotten off track with my normal circadian rhythm. I'm usually up at dawn and in bed pretty early.

When I started this blog a couple of months ago, I decided to try and establish the habit of writing in the morning.

Because of the week I've had, I've spent more time up at night than usual, sleeping in and haven't written my posts on the schedule I started.

The Morning Glory shows us that we also bloom at dawn and fade by dusk. I've been writing at night and my way of expressing myself is...fading; as it should, because I'm not in alignment energetically right now.

And today, I've had a pretty bad histamine flair associated with psoriasis because I'm not eating as healthy as I normally do.

My rhythm is totally off and I've been struggling with needing naps during the day and generally feeling mentally like my own light is dimmer.

As I look back over the last few days of my posts here, and what I've shared (which is just the tip of the iceberg) about my general life circumstances, I can see why the Morning Glory is showing up as much as it is.

And as for giving me some more insight as to why I am experiencing psoriasis the way that I am, I also see that over the last few years, I've not allowed that natural rhythm of life to express itself as illustrated by the Morning Glory.

I'm not in sync and my body is talking to me, big time.

I've approached my own healing from more of a physical, what can I do approach, instead of a get in touch with my feelings approach.

I think the Morning Glory is showing me the way to healing myself is to honor the fleeting bloom of light at dawn, as well as the closing of the bloom at dusk.

I can't live with just output...I need an equal amount of time with input, too.

I've gone up a rung, I can see where I've been, but I get to have another go with more perspective.

And so it goes.

Random fact about me: I was a Homecoming Queen in Junior High School.

The Art of Asking Questions: Reviving Genuine Curiosity

Asking a question is a skill that creates space for exploring, understanding, and reflecting on the true nature of something.

Once digested, there is energy for movement.

Something that I've noticed recently is that the art of the question is becoming something of a lost art...simply because we've become so used to asking our questions not so much to other humans, but to our computers.

What I'm talking about is about how we communicate with each other, in person, not on a screen with emails or texts.

So much is lost in translation when we just use words.

Tone of voice, body language and context matters as much as the question asked!

Open Ended Questions

When an open ended question is asked, the process of discovery begins.

"What might we be missing here?" is a great question to ask when in a group setting, like a team at work or when in a planning committee.

Often, in the initial stages of something, setting the scene of inquiry means opening up for discussion some different ways of seeing a potential solution or even identifying the real problem.

Another opener is, "How else could this look?" This opens up further exploration when trying to find the answer to an approach to solving a problem or figuring something out.

In the beginning of a discussion, opening up the field of inquiry with provocative, open ended questions is a great way to gain insight rather than just getting to the 'right' answer.

Get Clear on Your Intention

Sometimes, many of us ask a question because we have a particular motive. Are you asking someone a question just to confirm what you already believe? Or are you really interested in discovering something new for yourself?

Something that I've noticed is the lost art of genuine curiosity, especially with younger people.

How you ask your question while considering your intention will frame how you get a response.

Do you want to learn something new or prove what you think you already know?

When to Cut to the Chase

Once the discovery phase is over, then it's time to bring out the knives.

Questions that are simple and sharp, like a knife, gets to the essence of issue.

Many times, we can get lost in the weeds and a sharply worded question can cut the weeds and get to the heart of the issue.

It's helpful to frame your questions with the intention, "If I only need to know one thing about this issue, what is it and who can give me an answer so we can get moving on a solution?"

Looking for Resonance

A good question should cause some pauses. Sometimes it might make others uncomfortable because it lingers, unanswered without reflection first. It opens up a discussion that maybe no one thought was even relevant, but now it is.

A good question can make energy move and strikes a chord with those that are on the receiving end of it.

Who knows where that chord, once struck, may lead to in the discussion?

Discovery is a marvelous thing.

Curiosity is the secret sauce to asking good questions.

Concerning ourselves with the"right" answer in the beginning stage can sometimes lead to the wrong destination.

Asking good questions, especially these days, is one of the most important things we can master if we want to go someplace new.

Random fact about me: I can cut hair.

Why Surrendering Can Lead to Growth

I almost broke my streak of writing daily today, but I have an hour left before the bell tolls.

I had a rough 24 hours getting back home to Virginia.

Planes were delayed, and I got back home early this morning, and had to hit the ground running as soon as I got some sleep.

But now, things are calmer and I'm sufficiently rested to reflect on what I want to express.

The last day or so has really brought home the realization that we are mere passengers in life, and not in the driver's seat as much as we think we are.

This realization comes to all of us at some point in our life, and for many, it's a hard pill to swallow.

This was reflected to me when I was sitting on the tarmac and my next connection was already boarding.

I knew I wasn't going to make it, so when I exited the first plane, and walked to the gate where I was supposed to board my next plane, I just surrendered to being a passenger in this particular experience.

I ended up with a very nice gate attendant who told me that the only shot I had at getting home was flying standby on the last plane out.

Otherwise, I couldn't leave until the next EVENING on a plane.

I wasn't upset. I decided to see what happened and not get all emotional about it.

It all worked out. I got home very late or early depending on your perspective, but I didn't have to wait until tonight.

When I got to my home airport and was waiting for an Uber, another couple came by and the man was furious.

I mean, every cuss word you can think of came out of his mouth, and I was thinking he was going to have a heart attack.

I was just sitting on my suitcase, waiting to be another passenger in my Uber, and when his story finally came out, he ended up only being an hour later than his original flight.

But you would have thought the world ended as upset as he was.

I knew he was a man used to being the driver's seat, and resistance to being a passenger in all areas of his life meant his view of the world was filled with lots and lots of road rage.

When you're driving all the time, you don't have the opportunity to look out the window of life and see what's really out there, and enjoy the scenery.

Instead, your foot is on the pedal going faster, passing people to just end up at your destination about the same time as those that you passed.

But you missed the trip, you know what I mean?

I'm not saying it's wrong to drive so hard and fast--people achieve a lot living this way.

But is the cost worth it?

I had an experience years ago that taught me that planning and thinking so much about your future can blind you to an amazing opportunity that you never planned or conceived of.

But when you are driving so hard, eyes focused on a particular destination, you'll miss a side road that can lead you to something far more spectacular than anything you have ever imagined while you're racing down the highway.

In my case, last night, I was on a standby flight that allowed me to see someone I haven't seen in the last year. We caught up at baggage claim, and I shared with her some tough stuff I've been going through in my life, and she said, "Well, I know what to pray for now, whereas before, I didn't."

That's what I mean.

As a passenger last night, I gained a deeper appreciation of how God works behind the scenes as a driver. He arranges things in His perfect timing, not mine.

I gained an extra prayer from a lovely woman and her husband, and for that I'm grateful.

It's good to be home in one piece, and to feel some peace, too.

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Random fact about me: I love 95% dark chocolate.

Understanding Marble: From Limestone to Lifelong Growth

Yesterday, I visited a place in the Rockies where limestone is transformed into marble.

It was a heck of trip over the mountains on a forest service road from Crested Butte to Marble, but worth the effort.

But what is marble, exactly?

Marble starts out from limestone. Limestone is the accumulation of life that has been hardened into sedimentary rock made up of mostly calcium carbonate.

Millions of years ago, the sea covered this area, and the tiny skeletons of gazillions of sea creatures hit the ocean floor and eventually hardened into limestone.

Limestone is a very porous material... soft and brittle.

But here's where the magic happens. Slowly, with time, it is transformed into marble with extreme heat and pressure. It becomes compacted into a crystalline structure that is very strong and can withstand transformation.

It can then be cut, carved, shaped, and polished into anything a master builder or craftsman can imagine, and it transcends from rock to something that appears to almost be alive because it holds light.

Now, I know that what God puts in front of me is significant and mirrors what is going on in my own life.

This morning, I was wondering, "Why marble?"

So I thought about it and realized that my life experiences stack up like layers of sedimentary rock, and when I face the pressures and heat of daily challenges, with time, those layers can slowly harden and change—shaping me into my own kind of marble.

I can take that refined aspect of myself and shape it into what desire, like a craftsman.

The kicker is...it can only happen if I surrender to the process and don't fight the changes that inevitably happen with those three ingredients: time, pressure and heat.

I've had periods in my life where I've chosen to ignore them...whether it was giving myself time to experience what I need to understand something important, or avoiding an emotional situation because it was probably going to result in pain.

Dealing with pressure is an ingredient that I see many people struggle with, too. Myself included.

We all have our individual limestone base, don't we?

We have different experiences that settle to the floor of our soul, waiting to be transformed into something stronger and 'more' of itself.

But how that limestone becomes marble still requires time, pressure and heat. That's universal.

But if we choose to avoid one, two or all three of the those ingredients in our lifetime, we remain brittle and soft.

Our limestone doesn't get to transform, and that's a tragedy.

Here's some pics of the day...Marble, Colorado is a small place, with a mighty message.

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Random fact about me: It took me 6 months to summon up the courage to work with a torch in my job as a jewelry designer. Fire and gas scared the shit out of me.