Embrace Creativity: Jumping into Daily Blogging

I had a lovely coffee date with a dear friend yesterday.

When we get together, there’s never enough time to cover all the topics going on in our lives. We are such chatterboxes! I think we are making up for lost time, because she's one of those people that I wish I would have met when I was in elementary school.

We need a lifetime!

I’ve known her for a few years now, and her friendship is on my personal “don’t leave Roanoke” list.

She’s entering a season where she can finally pursue what makes her heart sing. She’s chosen gardening as her medium. What a great way to connect with others and communicate the importance of cultivation. Not just in the soil of our backyards, but in ourselves as human beings.

I tease her about building an empire, but honestly, I believe she could do it.

We got to talking about my new direction of blogging daily, and I learned that she also sees the value of documenting life with intention. As we walked back to my studio, she mentioned she might start journaling daily, either privately or through blogging.

I immediately jumped in with encouragement, sharing how powerful a daily creative practice can be.

No need to wait for the perfect journal or the perfect website; just start and see where it takes you.

I shared with her how I have no idea what my blog post is going to be until I sit down in the morning to write it.

Content reveals itself because it's tied to my life.

She's also starting to move in a different direction, too.

She’s starting a YouTube channel so she can have more control over her videos (she’s been sharing mostly on Instagram). Right now, she’s immersed in learning how to pull together her content and get her video production set up.

She’s choosing growth, and I couldn’t be happier for her.

One of the secrets to creativity is simply diving in.

Many people think they need clarity before starting something new--clarity about the process, and even the outcome.

I know people close to me who have big dreams, but they hold back, waiting for the “right” environment: the perfect website, a peaceful studio, a better office setup…or losing weight before they join a gym or biking group!

I disagree with that mindset.

Start with what you have. Trust that the process will unfold and the outcome will reveal itself as you go.

Plans are great if you’ve been down the road before since you’ve got a map. But if you're in new territory, you need to think like an explorer.

You don’t know what you’ll encounter. You can’t predict the obstacles, (or the gifts!) along the way. But if your desire is genuine, it will guide you. You’ll figure it out.

And sometimes, what shows up is far better than anything you could’ve planned for.

Serendipity loves movement. If you have the desire, jump in and see what happens!

This blog is me jumping in!

This blog of mine is about as simple as it gets. I’m using WordPress.com and paying $48 a year for the Personal plan. I wanted to see if I could maintain a daily writing practice before investing in a self-hosted site with all the bells and whistles.

I just needed a place to begin.

The one thing I know for sure is that the URL will remain the same. Where it lives and how it evolves, I have no idea.

I'm just waiting to see where the road takes me.

No big expectations about outcome...just a desire to excavate my daily experiences, write about them creatively, and pull out any universal insight I find along the way.

That’s it, really. And to share them with you.

If you’re interested in my friend’s gardening adventure, go check out her website: www.michellesgardengrows.com.

Random fact about me: I collect rocks. They are like permanent flowers to me.

How Trust Shapes Our Conversations

I was out on a hike yesterday and was talking with my step-father about our upcoming road trip to Colorado.

Something that is really cool about our relationship is that we can talk about stuff for hours. On our trips, which are often two full days in his truck to get to where we are going to stay, we don't have the radio on.

We can fill up 8-10 hours of time in a truck by having long conversations.

Well, yesterday we were talking about trust, and how most institutions that were built on trust are no longer trustworthy.

Trust is an interesting topic for a couple of reasons.

I don't think a lot of people understand that trust is the invisible glue that allows any institution to exist.

When people lose confidence that the people within the institution are acting without integrity, are no longer concerned with an individual's competence within the organization, and the people involved are not in alignment with professional values, said organization is finished.

The building may still stand, but without trust, the institution can no longer lead, organize, or inspire those within the system, much less to those of us on the outside who use the system.

Or used to use the system.

When a personal relationship is severed because of a lack of trust, there is an anger that rarely recedes. I've seen people carry their anger and hatred for an untrustworthy partner for YEARS, even after the relationship is finished.

When trust is gone, the way we communicate changes drastically. In a trustworthy relationship, we feel open to discuss anything. We can share without feeling like we have to defend ourselves if we drop something on someone that is provocative.

On my trips with my step-father, the way we are able to communicate with each other is built on 40+ years of trust. I can discuss anything with him, including stuff I know he disagrees with me on, without feeling like the relationship is on the rocks because of what I share.

I'm free to think while I am speaking, and to be wrong without feeling stupid.

But without trust? That's not possible, and misunderstanding takes center stage.

When trust is gone, anger fills the space left, and all conversations after that betrayal are centered around defense, accusation, and control.

I look at the people around me when I'm out doing my business, and I see anger. The kind of anger I've experienced when a trustworthy relationship goes south because of an egregious lie. We all have our line in the sand, and when that line is crossed...communication shifts drastically.

We're seeing it on a grand scale now.

Most communication is now calculated. People have become accustomed to having to scan for threats when out and about now instead of connection and shared meaning.

I watch a lot of Andy Griffith in my studio, and I miss that world where trust in others was the assumption, instead of the opposite.

I see more people that stay silent now, hiding behind their phones when there could be an opportunity to connect with someone in the flesh while waiting for an appointment or at the airport.

Honesty and openness is a commodity that is now, rare. It can only happen when someone is in an environment that is trustworthy. And I miss it.

Something else shifts, too.

I've seen an incredible lack of curiosity lately. About anything. And that shift worries me.

To be curious requires safety in communication. It requires an openness and honesty about what you don't know so you can learn about something new, and GROW.

Curiosity also requires diving into the unknown. People are less inclined to be verbally flexible and are instead rigid. I've experienced people reverting to assumption instead of asking questions to get to a place of understanding.

Understanding is not the same as agreement.

Many now pre-judge and aren't curious about why someone believes or acts differently than they do; they assume the other is just wrong and if their difference threatens their worldview, they seek to destroy instead of understand.

I think this all goes to the issue of trust. Once the institutions that we all believed in became untrustworthy, as we continue to discover daily, the population has become calculated and fractured.

When we become more interested in finding out what really happened inside our institutions, instead of focusing on what's wrong with those currently in power, healing from this breach of trust won't happen.

The buildings may stand, but that's it. And that's even debatable at this point.

I hope we can bring back curiosity. I'm trying to transmute my own anger about the state of our country by seeking to understand. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but without it, we don't have a chance.

It's an important way through this.

Random fact about me: Everything on my walls is artwork I've collected from real people, not stores.

Does the Wave Worship the Ocean?

Since it's Sunday, I've been contemplating the idea and practice of worship.

Personally, I tend towards reverence instead of formal worship in my own spiritual life.

To me, reverence is respecting what inspires awe.

I don't have to understand God, All That Is, the Tao, or any of the other ways humans have tried to bottle up and describe the mechanics of the creation that we are a part of, live in and return to when our bodies take their last breath.

But I do revere it.

I sense the power and intelligence that is within and part of all that is, and although I don't fear it, since I am part of it, I stand in awe of creation.

Today, this got me thinking about the ocean and how waves briefly rise up, momentarily separating from the sea, only to peak, fall, and dissolve back into the very source they came from.

I feel like that's the best I can do to explain what I believe regarding my spiritual take on things as of right now.

The older I get, the less inclined I feel to have to understand it all.

I just want to enjoy it while I can.

Happy contemplating today....

Random fact about me: I like to shop for clothes at Eddie Bauer, Columbia Outfitters, and Chico's (for fancy duds).

Turning Your Waiting Room Into A Classroom

I first heard of this idea about turning your waiting room into a classroom from Jessica Sowards of Roots and Refuge fame on Youtube. She is a homesteader that has built a fandom revolving around sustainable gardening and growth. She grows things for a living, and not just food. She's a terrific sower of all things good--physically and spiritually.

Jessica grew up in the Vilonia, Arkansas area, which is close to where I grew up in Cabot, so I feel a certain kinship with her because we started out in the same soil.

Yesterday evening, I decided to take a long walk and I called my niece. She is getting married in September, and I wanted to catch up with her as she is in the middle of wedding preparations.

She is a recent graduate from University and is looking for a job in teaching. I listened to her frustration about finding a job, and through my own experience, know how paralyzing a job search can be when you're ready to get out there and build your future.

Often, you feel like you don't deserve to do something fun because you are WAITING to start your life with that first professional gig.

I shared with her Jessica's idea about turning your waiting room into a classroom while she waits for her next job opportunity and she immediately vibed with the concept.

I told her now is the perfect time to do something that fills her up with joy, since she has time to devote to something other than getting married and starting a new job.

She's also a Generator with a 4th line profile, which means her network of friends and family will most likely be the source for her job opportunity, so why not increase the reach of her network by doing something new she can learn about while she waits for her new job?

She'll meet new people, and most importantly, she'll continue to develop herself in ways that fill her up instead of waiting around for the phone to ring for interviews.

I reminded her of how creative she was a child, and that I still have her poetry as well as her paintings on the wall in my studio.

Hobbies are wonderful things. Immersing yourself into something new is a great energetic boost and fantastic for your morale.

Who cares if it doesn't turn into something other than a hobby?

The joy it can bring opens you up to opportunities you may not even know you need or want.

Have a great weekend!

Random fact about me: I can't sing but I love karaoke, and often spend an hour or so singing when I'm alone in the house with Amazon Music, since they show the lyrics. I also can't remember lyrics to songs, so that may be part of my issue.

Compassion Doesn't Mean You Approve

I believe compassion is one of those concepts that gets misinterpreted A LOT today.

I remember when I experienced true compassion for someone that, to put it bluntly, I despised with every fiber of my being.

I disagreed with her on pretty much every level. She was in my extended family circle, so she was in my life periodically due to who she was married to, but I tried to avoid her as much as possible.

Her husband was having severe health issues, and I knew that she was cheating on him.

In an unguarded moment, I witnessed her emotionally fall apart while he was in the hospital having surgery.

That was when I experienced compassion, I believe, authentically, for the first time.

In a flash, I could see her entire life.

She had a rough childhood, and she was someone that was stuck in survival mode all of the time. And I watched her emotionally cycle through what it might mean if her husband didn't make it through the surgery.

She was scared out of her mind.

Maybe for him, maybe for herself. Most likely, both.

I don't know, and it didn't really matter.

The interesting thing was how it affected me. I completely shifted in a way that is hard to put into words.

I didn't forgive her for the years of bullshit I'd observed and experienced, and I know I won't ever forget any of it either.

But for a brief period, I was present with her in a loving and quiet way.

I didn't try and tell her he'd be fine, and not to worry. I didn't say anything that I remember.

I was just present without judging her.

And surprisingly, I watched how it affected her as she disintegrated.

Something was exchanged between us that ended up being life-altering for me.

I believe compassion is holding the shared space steady for someone that is falling apart, and needs a bit of shelter so they can reassemble themselves for what comes next after they get through their own storm.

But what strikes me the most is that I was able to shift my own emotional landscape from one of turbulence and repulsion to a serene and, dare I say, caring one.

Compassion is tricky to understand. It's not feeling sorry for someone or trying to take a moment of pain and teach them a lesson about themselves.

It's not saying all the things we've been conditioned to say, like "It'll be OK," or "I've been through something similar and it all worked out."

Showing empathy for someone is part of compassion, but only if they ask you for your own experience.

It has nothing to do with offering to help, either, unless asked. And then, only if you really want to.

All those 'nice things' we try to say and do aren't about the person actually suffering are they?

Nope. It's usually about us trying to prove to them and everyone else that we're nice and caring.

Compassion came up again recently for me as I tried to console someone that I care deeply about, and had to resist not trying to fix the problem, tell them that I know exactly how they feel, and all the blah, blah we tend to go through when we see someone suffering.

I'm not going to lie...I still get it wrong a lot. I have to work on this, especially when my emotions are running strong.

But I continue to try.

I try and go back to that moment with her, and bring the me back who saw her for who she is, accepted it all, and stayed present while she was in the storm.

I did it once...surely I can repeat it, right?

The irony is that she is the one person that enabled me to have one of the most profound experiences that I think about often, in a good way, about compassion.

Life is cool like that.

Random fact about me: My college roommate had to have her entire side of the dorm room decorated with Seafoam Green. It was like living in cotton candy. And I can say there is nothing in my home that is Seafoam Green.