How Trust Shapes Our Conversations

I was out on a hike yesterday and was talking with my step-father about our upcoming road trip to Colorado.

Something that is really cool about our relationship is that we can talk about stuff for hours. On our trips, which are often two full days in his truck to get to where we are going to stay, we don't have the radio on.

We can fill up 8-10 hours of time in a truck by having long conversations.

Well, yesterday we were talking about trust, and how most institutions that were built on trust are no longer trustworthy.

Trust is an interesting topic for a couple of reasons.

I don't think a lot of people understand that trust is the invisible glue that allows any institution to exist.

When people lose confidence that the people within the institution are acting without integrity, are no longer concerned with an individual's competence within the organization, and the people involved are not in alignment with professional values, said organization is finished.

The building may still stand, but without trust, the institution can no longer lead, organize, or inspire those within the system, much less to those of us on the outside who use the system.

Or used to use the system.

When a personal relationship is severed because of a lack of trust, there is an anger that rarely recedes. I've seen people carry their anger and hatred for an untrustworthy partner for YEARS, even after the relationship is finished.

When trust is gone, the way we communicate changes drastically. In a trustworthy relationship, we feel open to discuss anything. We can share without feeling like we have to defend ourselves if we drop something on someone that is provocative.

On my trips with my step-father, the way we are able to communicate with each other is built on 40+ years of trust. I can discuss anything with him, including stuff I know he disagrees with me on, without feeling like the relationship is on the rocks because of what I share.

I'm free to think while I am speaking, and to be wrong without feeling stupid.

But without trust? That's not possible, and misunderstanding takes center stage.

When trust is gone, anger fills the space left, and all conversations after that betrayal are centered around defense, accusation, and control.

I look at the people around me when I'm out doing my business, and I see anger. The kind of anger I've experienced when a trustworthy relationship goes south because of an egregious lie. We all have our line in the sand, and when that line is crossed...communication shifts drastically.

We're seeing it on a grand scale now.

Most communication is now calculated. People have become accustomed to having to scan for threats when out and about now instead of connection and shared meaning.

I watch a lot of Andy Griffith in my studio, and I miss that world where trust in others was the assumption, instead of the opposite.

I see more people that stay silent now, hiding behind their phones when there could be an opportunity to connect with someone in the flesh while waiting for an appointment or at the airport.

Honesty and openness is a commodity that is now, rare. It can only happen when someone is in an environment that is trustworthy. And I miss it.

Something else shifts, too.

I've seen an incredible lack of curiosity lately. About anything. And that shift worries me.

To be curious requires safety in communication. It requires an openness and honesty about what you don't know so you can learn about something new, and GROW.

Curiosity also requires diving into the unknown. People are less inclined to be verbally flexible and are instead rigid. I've experienced people reverting to assumption instead of asking questions to get to a place of understanding.

Understanding is not the same as agreement.

Many now pre-judge and aren't curious about why someone believes or acts differently than they do; they assume the other is just wrong and if their difference threatens their worldview, they seek to destroy instead of understand.

I think this all goes to the issue of trust. Once the institutions that we all believed in became untrustworthy, as we continue to discover daily, the population has become calculated and fractured.

When we become more interested in finding out what really happened inside our institutions, instead of focusing on what's wrong with those currently in power, healing from this breach of trust won't happen.

The buildings may stand, but that's it. And that's even debatable at this point.

I hope we can bring back curiosity. I'm trying to transmute my own anger about the state of our country by seeking to understand. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but without it, we don't have a chance.

It's an important way through this.

Random fact about me: Everything on my walls is artwork I've collected from real people, not stores.

Human Design: Finding Freedom Within Limitations

I’m a Human Design Guide, and I’m starting a simple weekly series here. Each Monday, I’ll share the current Human Design transit of the Sun and Earth, and how I’m personally noticing it show up in real life. Human Design helps us tune into both our own natural rhythm and the shifting energy in the collective—and my hope is this space helps you do just that, too.

Want to learn more about Human Design?

Jovian Archive and MyBodygraph

Sun: Gate 56, Gate of The Wanderer

Earth: Gate 60, Gate of Limitation

Transits for Week of July 18th-July 24, 2025

This week's transits are pitting us against wanting to have a grand adventure, but resigned that the laundry is dirty and needs to be washed before you can head out the door.

I wrote a post about turning your waiting room into a classroom on the 18th, and actually, that post sums up this week's transit in a way that I wasn't even aware of when I wrote it.

This energy feels like wanting to move to Aruba after a vacation there for the vibe, but first, you have to sell the house, sell your stuff and attend to the limitations of where you are now before you can begin the life that you imagine.

Maybe you just need to go to the community pool right now instead!

This week's energy pressures us to look back on our lives and regale the high points of previous adventures. What did I learn? How did that experience shape me into the person that I am now?

This week's transit asks us to go within after we've expressed what came before and consider whether or not this story still fits in our lives.

It feels like a jumping off point, but first, you have to make sure that where you are jumping fits into the story of who you are now.

What limitations do you have to contend with before you try and leap? Is the timing right?

Shayne and I were talking over the weekend about ditching the house and going back to a more nomadic lifestyle, renting instead of owning, wandering instead of being fixed. The conversation started with me reading to him my post about the bear.

But, is that what we really want? We feel the need for more adventure in our lives, but maybe we can just rent an Airbnb for a month at the coast, work from there, knowing we have a home to come back to once we get the wanderlust out of our system for a while.

In our past, we went all in, traveling around the world for 20 years.

But is that really what we want or need now?

This energy prompts us to understand we can work within the limitations we currently have to meet that need for change and stimulating experiences.

Generators/Manifesting Generators: You've got a lot of stories that need an audience, but you've got to wait for the right question to respond to before you spill your epic tale. Or you can write about it and push Publish like I did this week about the bear and see where it lands!

Manifestors: You want to start a revolution, but may be confined by red tape, so you decide to start a podcast instead. Work within your limitations creatively. You've got stuff to say, but feel stymied by the mundane practicality of going by the rules, red tape, or logistics to express those stimulating ideas. This is more of an incubation period for you.

Projectors: This week is about refinement. You've got great stories to make your point in guiding others to a new insight, but you've got to wait until someone asks you. This week is a good time to refine those metaphors and have them ready for your next invitation to share your guidance and wisdom.

Reflectors: You may be feeling like you're on a movie binge, with all the stories you're hearing from those you come into contact with. You feel the collective desire to make some changes, but may be wondering why it's not happening as quickly as it should. Just enjoy the show! Change is working its way through the collective and real change will come when certain limitations are worked through.

How I experienced last week's transit of Facts and Faith

Last week, as I review what I felt compelled to write about, I see that I went into much more detail about how I view gratitude, compassion, and worship by gathering my thoughts and beliefs slowly and deliberately. Lots of inner examination about what's hard to express when I think I understand what something means, but on reflection, I have misinterpreted it.

When you don't have the words, zip it until you do. For me, writing helps me find the words and slow down my thoughts enough to recursively interact with different parts of my psyche.

All good stuff and writing daily is a great way to track how I interact with the collective transits. I feel like I'm now part of the collective instead of separate.

The surprising thing about getting older, for me, has been this feeling that life is moving on ahead without me in a subtle way that I've not experienced before.

Writing daily and reflecting about my life and experiences is helping me feel like I'm still in the game.

Thanks for playing!

Random fact about me: My family calls me Statsie-Boonay.

Does the Wave Worship the Ocean?

Since it's Sunday, I've been contemplating the idea and practice of worship.

Personally, I tend towards reverence instead of formal worship in my own spiritual life.

To me, reverence is respecting what inspires awe.

I don't have to understand God, All That Is, the Tao, or any of the other ways humans have tried to bottle up and describe the mechanics of the creation that we are a part of, live in and return to when our bodies take their last breath.

But I do revere it.

I sense the power and intelligence that is within and part of all that is, and although I don't fear it, since I am part of it, I stand in awe of creation.

Today, this got me thinking about the ocean and how waves briefly rise up, momentarily separating from the sea, only to peak, fall, and dissolve back into the very source they came from.

I feel like that's the best I can do to explain what I believe regarding my spiritual take on things as of right now.

The older I get, the less inclined I feel to have to understand it all.

I just want to enjoy it while I can.

Happy contemplating today....

Random fact about me: I like to shop for clothes at Eddie Bauer, Columbia Outfitters, and Chico's (for fancy duds).

How Singing About a Chicken May Have Saved My Life

When I was in my early 20's, I worked on a ship called The Seabird in Alaska as a steward. We got 2 days off a month and on one of my day's off, we were in Glacier Bay National Park.

Another crew member was off that day, too, and we decided to get a double sea kayak and kayak around an island we were anchored next to and eat lunch on shore.

We found a neat spot, grounded the kayak and started walking to find a place to eat our sandwiches.

We turned a corner and about 20 feet in front of us was a big, brown bear.

We froze.

She stood up to smell us, and we locked our hands to make ourselves look bigger, flapping our arms on the other side of our bodies like a crazy bird.

When you are face to face with a brown bear, there is no running away. That invites a chase you won't win.

There was no place to go.

We had no bear spray or a gun.

In an incredible moment of clarity, my mind and body sort of split apart and I wasn't scared. I was present to the moment in a hyper-focused way.

This could very well be my time to go.

As we were flapping our arms, I did something very unexpected.

I started to sing a song I first learned as a small girl.

"Oh, I had a little chicken that wouldn't lay an egg, so I poured hot water up and down its leg. The little chicken hollered and the little chicken begged, the darn little chicken laid a hard-boiled egg!"

I sang that song over and over again, at the top of my lungs, while both of us were flapping our arms to make ourselves look bigger.

That bear dropped on all fours, spun around, kicking up dirt and ran off.

And it was over.

Where did I get the idea to sing that crazy song? And props to whoever taught it to me.

I've often thought about that moment.

Instinct is a powerful thing. My body's nervous system came to my rescue while my mind was frozen and I sort of jumped out of my body to witness what could have been my body's gruesome death.

I remember a strange sense of wonder, too.

Would the bear knock us down and then eat us? Would I have to go through the process of being eaten alive?

The weird thing was that I wasn't really terrified until after the moment of reckoning was over.

Then my mind and body re-integrated and I really felt the adrenaline and fear walking over to that kayak to get back to the boat.

I guess that bear figured it wasn't worth the effort to attack the crazy creature it was confronted with and bolted.

But that chicken song...I'm pretty sure it saved my life that day.

Random fact about me: I used to put fish sauce on everything when I was trying to learn how to cook Thai food. My husband was kind and ate my experiments. I married a good one.

Turning Your Waiting Room Into A Classroom

I first heard of this idea about turning your waiting room into a classroom from Jessica Sowards of Roots and Refuge fame on Youtube. She is a homesteader that has built a fandom revolving around sustainable gardening and growth. She grows things for a living, and not just food. She's a terrific sower of all things good--physically and spiritually.

Jessica grew up in the Vilonia, Arkansas area, which is close to where I grew up in Cabot, so I feel a certain kinship with her because we started out in the same soil.

Yesterday evening, I decided to take a long walk and I called my niece. She is getting married in September, and I wanted to catch up with her as she is in the middle of wedding preparations.

She is a recent graduate from University and is looking for a job in teaching. I listened to her frustration about finding a job, and through my own experience, know how paralyzing a job search can be when you're ready to get out there and build your future.

Often, you feel like you don't deserve to do something fun because you are WAITING to start your life with that first professional gig.

I shared with her Jessica's idea about turning your waiting room into a classroom while she waits for her next job opportunity and she immediately vibed with the concept.

I told her now is the perfect time to do something that fills her up with joy, since she has time to devote to something other than getting married and starting a new job.

She's also a Generator with a 4th line profile, which means her network of friends and family will most likely be the source for her job opportunity, so why not increase the reach of her network by doing something new she can learn about while she waits for her new job?

She'll meet new people, and most importantly, she'll continue to develop herself in ways that fill her up instead of waiting around for the phone to ring for interviews.

I reminded her of how creative she was a child, and that I still have her poetry as well as her paintings on the wall in my studio.

Hobbies are wonderful things. Immersing yourself into something new is a great energetic boost and fantastic for your morale.

Who cares if it doesn't turn into something other than a hobby?

The joy it can bring opens you up to opportunities you may not even know you need or want.

Have a great weekend!

Random fact about me: I can't sing but I love karaoke, and often spend an hour or so singing when I'm alone in the house with Amazon Music, since they show the lyrics. I also can't remember lyrics to songs, so that may be part of my issue.